I didn’t sleep well last night. Probably because the madman with the serious Napoleonic complex invaded a sovereign nation in Europe about 1500 miles from here.

At any rate, I was a few minutes late to class today, but not because I overslept, just because, I don’t know why. One of those mornings.lol

Anyway, I entered, nodded apologetically, and joined in. We started class using l’expression de la cause, basically, conjunctions. (What’s their function, right?) Well, I understand them in English, not so much in French.

For those interested, and in a nutshell, I’m referring to the French words: parce que, car, comme, et puisque. Some are used in formal situations, some informal. And some answer the question “why?” All of them have to do with “cause” and “result.” And as an added bonus of confusion, when you use “comme,” the order gets reversed.

I. WAS. NOT. GETTING. IT.

At one point, after a lively and lengthy exercise, le prof looked at me, asking « Ça va? » Good? Got it? And I just shook my head, feeling defeated. Non. And I felt terrible about it. I don’t know why it was so dramatic for me, but I was just really, really lost. Not that everyone was getting the answers correct, but they knew enough to try — I couldn’t even do that. I was trying to translate things and just could not catch up.

She kept an eye on me, trying to engage me. But honestly, I felt myself checking out, thinking, I’ll have to study this tonight when I get home because I am confused, and no one is going to explain it to me in English, so I just kept taking notes.

Break time.

On the way to coffee with Irene, I said, « Je suis tellement perdu aujourd’hui. » I am so lost today. Maybe coffee will help.

We returned to class, where we were immediately teamed with new partners. We began a discussion exercise using questions such as why are we in Paris, why are we studying French, etc. We did this whilst standing in the center of the room – no writing allowed. It felt like an ice breaker, and I was glad for it. I really enjoy my classmates and love learning their stories. I started to feel comfortable and relaxed again.

And that’s when we were given another worksheet involving those pesky conjunctions: PARCE QUE, CAR, COMME et PUISQUE. My heart sank. I told Nikola, my new teammate (from Serbia), «Je suis désolé, je ne peux pas beaucoup aider. » Sorry, I won’t be able to help very much, adding you may have noticed I struggled with this earlier. He was sweet, and said not to worry, we’d work together.

I thought I would just quietly step back, and take notes. But that’s not what they do here. Quite the opposite. Madame Le prof was nonchalant at first. Then she keyed in on me, and I never saw it coming. She has such a special way of engaging students. She’s this wonderful melange of adorable and tough. She’s tiny, but fierce — with the most infectious conspiratorial giggle I’ve ever heard, always making you feel like you’re sharing a secret together. She has these moments with every single student. I have never had a teacher more determined to help me understand something in my life. I’ve never been thrown so many life lines. I’ve never had someone root for me so openly, so earnestly. She so rallied around me, I felt my eyes fill with tears. It was wonderfully embarrassing not horrifyingly so. And when I answered correctly for the first time — she cheered me. Loudly! And then again, and again when it was obvious I was starting to catch on. Then, when Nikola whispered and nudged me to take the next question for our team — even though I disagreed with his answer — I stepped up and gave my answer, not his. I pop The rule here is, you’re given the same props whether you’re right or wrong. Treated exactly the same. They just want participation here, and they delight in wrong answers as a way to further explain. Well, I was actually right, and Nikola really laughed because of how the tables had turned and because he’s a pretty great guy. Bravo, Lisa! he said.

We took to our seats and my spirits were high as homework was assigned. That’s when I noticed the worksheet was level B2.