Ah, the innocence of yesterday, when I was pondering what to do today.

Well, all Hell broke loose last night.

Basically, my bank shut down my debit/Visa card, and all access to my funds. Yeah. That’s always fun when you’re traveling alone in Europe.

I swear I had only done a little shopping, and suddenly, my card was declined. That always causes panic. I exited the store, and immediately called my bank. Oh, they said, « …there was a weird charge that we thought might have been fraud, so there was a hold put on your account. »

They just never thought to tell me. Text? Email? Phone call? Nope.

OK, « Andrew » from my local branch office assured me the hold was removed, and that all would be well. And I believed him.

Until it wasn’t removed, and all was not well.

I tried another shop, and was again denied. This was my third call to the branch office, so by now, “Andrew” was answering the bank phone like this: “Hi Lisa, It’s Andrew.” I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt, because I’m an idiot like that sometimes. I really believed that maybe the release of the hold was made,but it just kind of hadn’t reached ME here in Europe, yet?

Right.

Some background: I was planning a short trip to another country here in Europe. The Netherlands. Specifically, Amsterdam.

I hung up with Andrew, and went online to check my lodging (Airbnb) for the trip, and it was all set, and had been paid for. My card had been working. I took a brief look at the train schedule. Should I book that now? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s like 2 weeks away.

For whatever reason, I decided to look again at the train schedule. I had talked to my friend Jennifer, and she said she has taken a lot of trips to Amsterdam, and so I felt excited. A lot of my friends here routinely go there for weekends and get-aways. So, I went to book the train. But, when I tried to buy a low-cost train ticket, I was denied, denied, denied.

Mother of God, help me!

Of course, as this point, my bank was now closed. It was after 6pm in the States, and that was it. I went back to the train schedule, thinking I’d use my backup credit card, but now, every single train ride from Paris to Amsterdam was sold out. Gone. Nothing left. OMG. What the heck just happened?

It turns out I’m not the only person in Paris going to see Taylor Swift in Amsterdam. It seems there are train loads of people going from Paris to Amsterdam, and they all decided to book their seats right now.

I was completely unable to find a seat to Amsterdam – for a concert I’d already paid for, and lodging I’d already paid for. What am I going to do besides panic?

OK. I found a bus line. They actually allow you to book the seat next to you for 1/2 price, to make your ride more comfortable. It’s a coach-type bus, and a very long ride to Amsterdam. Like 6-8 hours long. OMG. But what choice did I have? I booked four seats for myself – that’s round-trip for one person. It was only $99.

Now I couldn’t sleep because of the adrenaline. I was still trying in vain to reach Customer Care Service at my bank, but they kept disconnecting me. It seems they especially don’t care if you’re abroad or if you’re a broad, because the phones don’t even work.

I tossed an turned and finally found sleep.

When I awoke this morning, I showered and commiserated with anyone who would listen. But there was nothing to do but wait till the bank employees woke up and went to work and listened to my messages and called me back.

That was a long wait – it was 8:00 a.m., and I was going to have to wait till 3:00 p.m. here before I heard a word.

And when I did, I’d love to say they were apologetic and concerned, but that was not the case. The woman was honestly, a bit rude, didn’t apologize, and she argued with me. Was this for real? I actually said at one point, “Wait, are you really arguing with me, here?” And then, that’s when she doubled down, insisting she was NOT arguing and I was wrong to suggest she was.

Pause to gather oneself.

First they said it was the $1 PayPal charge that caused a hold to be placed on my account, and now, get this, they were saying I’d swiped my card too many times, so that caused the shut down. What? That’s a thing? Apparently it is. I said, everything in Paris is contactless pay. You swipe for a baguette, you swipe for a glass of wine, you swipe for anything and everything. OMG, can we increase my swipes? Is that a thing? “No, not really. We don’t do that. It’s an average number we use.” But, I said, if the card is declined, the store ALWAYS tries to put it through again. Do those swipes go against my allotted number of swipes? Yes. Yes, they do.

THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR!

She kept assuring me that my card was fine, implying I was not. And even though I was getting emails from a company that takes automatic payments from this card, telling me the payments were declined, SHE was telling me “No, they weren’t.” Where do you even go from here? She was insisting it was THEIR fault, not the bank’s. I said – “…but you have a hold on my account. I pay these folks automatically every month. It’s the card! It’s the bank! It’s not the merchant!” She said it shows as “paid,” end of story. I was trying to check my emails as she spoke. I said, “Well, at 3:00 a.m., they were not paid.” And like a kid on the playground, she replied, “Well, they are now.” I said, “Well, I guess their third and fourth attempts went through. Do those swipes go against me, too?” And why was she still arguing?

She literally had nothing else to say. So, the phone was just quiet between us.

When I hung up, and tried my card again, I went online and found one – literally one – train ride for my return trip FROM Amsterdam back to Paris on the 5th of July. Ok, I said to myself and the Devil, maybe one bus ride in one direction would be ok, just not both. I only had 3 days booked and two were going to be spent on a bus, and one at the concert. This wasn’t looking good.

So, I confidently typed in my card number in for the train trip, and it was declined.

OMG.

I called the bank right away and got a different woman, who was competent and quite nice. She apologized profusely, which is a lot of what I really needed/wanted. But brace yourself, because here’s what she said the problem was:

“OK, you were making charges in the Netherlands and the U.K., and on and on, and we only have you approved for France.” What? I’m not in the U.K. What is that about? Are there charges on my card from the U.K.? Well, she said, “…apparently, the train you’re trying to book COMES from the U.K. and we haven’t opened up your card to that country.” Wait, what? What? What? I’m in France, I said. I am making all of these charges while in France. I haven’t left the country. How am I supposed to know that the train is from a British company when I’m booking it in France? It’s all Europe! I was stunned. I said, if I go to a Mall in the United States, and I buy sometime from a German store, you don’t flag me and shut my card down. How am I supposed to know this? Can’t you just add « EUROPE » to my account? “No ma’am. We can only add countries.” But, but, the entire country of France is the size of Texas, so my going to Amsterdam is like going from Pennsylvania to New England, if we had real trains, which we don’t, but surely you can see my point. She had to concede a bit. “Yeah, well, do you want to add a few other countries? Yes, yes, add them! Please, add them!

Long story, long… I went back online and got the train ticket for the way home (to Paris) on July 5, and now I was going to try to find a train ticket to Amsterdam (from Paris) on July 3.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Sorry this story is so long. I’m even shortening it, but it is what it is. And the saga is mostly over.

I had to make a few purchases to make sure my card was indeed functioning, and it seemed to be working. (I love my new scarf!)

I had thrown in a load of laundry before heading out. I enjoyed a libation, or two, and a nice meal in the neighborhood. I just sat there for hours, listening to all the French around me.

I am so lucky and blessed to be among friends here. And my friends and family at home offered everything they could offer, as well. Jennifer was like, “…don’t worry, I’ll take care of you – we’ll use my account, you can sleep here on the sofa till this is straightened out.” The generosity is heartwarming, and I am overwhelmed.

Oh, and guess what I did? I booked a fucking flight on Air fucking France to Amsterdam.

Excuse my French.

Now, I have to start planning my adventures in Amsterdam – and most importantly WHAT TO WEAR to a Taylor Swift concert. I am over-the- moon as this has been a very long time coming. If I were writing a book (wink) this chapter might be called “Chasing Swifties.” I initially wanted to see her in Philly last year. Then, it was my fantasy to come to Paris and see her perform here in May, but I couldn’t make it happen. Then, my friend needed an apartment-sitter, and as I was making plans to come here, I saw that she would be performing in Amsterdam, and I knew it was just a train ride away. Piece of cake!

Can I do this? Can I pull this off? Well, I’m trying! I missed all the $30 and $50 train fares, but I’m going.

Help me plan what to wear!!!